The biggest dilemma or issue I've received recently is to clarify why hurt and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. Yes, it's extremely difficult to be around others that cannot see-themselves-on-the-inside. Most likely they are primarily focused on what other people will think about them. I believe this is what drives a perfectionist. Does a perfectionist realize this about theirself?
Observation of our interactions with others is always a starting point. We're not here to view others; we're here to honestly observe our~selves. It always only comes down to us: how we react, why we react. When your instinct is to look to blame, just pause, breathe, and silently look at self if possible. Yes, it takes great awareness and we all need more.
Perfectionism is such an oppressive emotion to place on ones~self, and until we are able to see-within (honestly) we will be unable to recognize our own behavior, how it impacts others, or what's its driving force. When a person is unable to see-within there really isn't much that can be done by anyone other than them.What we find within is not based on opinion, but truth.
For me there is a huge difference between healthy striving, for what you want to create or even change, versus being (most likely unconsciously) focused on what others, including self, will think. For me I can't put it any more basic than to say this is the difference between thinking with our minds versus silently feeling what our heart-intelligence is communicating.
Which is a better barometer for doing what's right and hopefully doing our best at it? I'll go as far to say ego drives the mind and wisdom drives the heart. Yet there is still so much confusion over ego, and that's not something I'll write on unless I'm asked to delve.
Yet this is my humble opinion and it's very reassuring that readers are seeking my opinions based on 25 years of constant learning and achieving emotional health with lasting joy. Finding lasting joy almost requires the courage to be vulnerable. And we know vulnerability leaves us wide open for pain. Hence the courage to face our~self without judgment.
Always ~ LL
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Life 101 on Day 281 ~
Snowed in, prepared, and time to write; a good combination for attempting to bring this blog together before the new year. Yes, I agree it will be helpful to begin with what got me to this point: the desire to find lasting happiness and the realizations about life that helped me along the way. I had described it as choosing a path, staying on it, then reaping the rewards so to speak.
As uncomfortable as this may sound, it must be said. Death is the most powerful force against life and happiness that can be faced with a new awareness. This awareness can enable anyone to get through the experience without loosing themselves in prolonged sorrow. It does help to remember the one that passes is not experiencing grief.
Death is the hardest experience to accept happening. And how are we ever able to accept things happen exactly as they're supposed to? Life is such an incredible thing when we realize how quickly it passes for each of us. In my humble opinion, without actually being conscious of how quickly babies become their~self can we truly appreciate the illusion of life.
And believe it or not, death is simply on the flip-side of that illusion. The experience of a loved one's life ending gives each of us an opportunity to experience our own life in ways we may never have without the timing of that death. And as painful as it is, we can find a way to celebrate that life for all it's value and worth in it's sphere-of-influence. Honestly, our resistance to a death, after the initial shock and acceptance, is what prolongs grief.
If our happiness is based on the value we feel we bring to life, then in my humble opinion, our acceptance of death should be based on the awareness of the value the deceased brought to his/her own life. Feeling sorry for our~self has been one of mankind's worst evolutions, along with the belief that money brings us happiness.
And again, I whole-heatedly welcome all viewpoints sent directly to my email. Enjoy the season. And I wish you all happiness and contentness for the new year. It all begins inside: our-self. And radiates ourward from there.
Always ~ LL
As uncomfortable as this may sound, it must be said. Death is the most powerful force against life and happiness that can be faced with a new awareness. This awareness can enable anyone to get through the experience without loosing themselves in prolonged sorrow. It does help to remember the one that passes is not experiencing grief.
Death is the hardest experience to accept happening. And how are we ever able to accept things happen exactly as they're supposed to? Life is such an incredible thing when we realize how quickly it passes for each of us. In my humble opinion, without actually being conscious of how quickly babies become their~self can we truly appreciate the illusion of life.
And believe it or not, death is simply on the flip-side of that illusion. The experience of a loved one's life ending gives each of us an opportunity to experience our own life in ways we may never have without the timing of that death. And as painful as it is, we can find a way to celebrate that life for all it's value and worth in it's sphere-of-influence. Honestly, our resistance to a death, after the initial shock and acceptance, is what prolongs grief.
If our happiness is based on the value we feel we bring to life, then in my humble opinion, our acceptance of death should be based on the awareness of the value the deceased brought to his/her own life. Feeling sorry for our~self has been one of mankind's worst evolutions, along with the belief that money brings us happiness.
And again, I whole-heatedly welcome all viewpoints sent directly to my email. Enjoy the season. And I wish you all happiness and contentness for the new year. It all begins inside: our-self. And radiates ourward from there.
Always ~ LL
Friday, December 13, 2013
Life 101 on Day 279 ~
Today is Friday the 13th, which is interesting enough because it does fall into the category of attraction in the sense that what we fear comes upon us. Yet this is not why I'm writing today and hopefully won't get sidetracked on.
My real-life examples may seem trivial, silly, or whatever thought may cross a readers mind. To me they illustrate magic-in-life I feel is essential to "see", to consciously connect to something greater than simply happenstance in order for more and more humans to place credence where it belongs.
These things are interpreted, individually, by our own hearts in total reference to our own lives. Yet it is still our awareness of the facts that rise us to another dimension, so to speak. Life may appear to be "just this", yet it is more and it is felt within our hearts by our spirit. And I can only hope you'll keep asking questions for clarity if this is "too much".
Okay, yesterday afternoon I happened to decide to walk Nosey up and over "the hill" (never did with Nosey). The stone path into the park glows golden with the sun directly opposite. The sun is within it's circumference from the horizon (which the sun descends in 5 minutes), so we pause to watch from a sweet park bench overlooking the city.
A younger woman comes over and we began to chat. The "setting" is magic, the time of day is magic, the encounter is magic, her~self is magic.... The coincidences are magic. She looks similar to a good friend that owns a neat shop in town; this young woman had been there, but hadn't met the owner; both are beautiful and angelic young women from Canada, have similar curly, dark hair, poise....
The name, of the young woman I meet in the park, is not "common" and is one slight sound and letter off of my daughter's name, and I tell her she's got great "energy" (I now know who I can say this to). With a knowing smile she tells me she's has been studying shamanism for five years so far. In a nutshell, this is a person that helps link, so to speak, the natural world with the spiritual world. I feel a deep connection.
Before parting we make plans to barter my homemade bread with her continual practice of her studies of shamanism. To participate in such work has been a deep desire of mine for decades. This couldn't have been a more perfect happenstance of being in the right place at the right time. So you do see what I mean about this being relative to my~self?
When you consciously take notice of these moments, you are aware of the magic-in-life. These moments happen for everyone, yet the more aware we are the more they happen, and around and around life glows with perfectly organized flow we may have taken for granted or foo fooed away as coincidence.
Yes, someone is going to say, "Of course the more aware we are the more they "seem" to happen, because we're just noticing what's going to happen anyway. I will differ of course. Yet I'm sure it'll be something only "you" can prove to your~self. Being aware with appreciation has a magic of it's own, and that spawns more opportunities or coincidences. It's momentum. Trust me ~
And I understand if you can't just trust someone you already don't know. SO trust your~self enough to prove it to YOU. Only you can become more aware of your own life; only you can "see" the opportunities and coincidences in your own life; only you can interpret what you see, hear, feel....with your own silent~heart. It becomes magic, and you will "see" when you're ready.
Always ~ LL
My real-life examples may seem trivial, silly, or whatever thought may cross a readers mind. To me they illustrate magic-in-life I feel is essential to "see", to consciously connect to something greater than simply happenstance in order for more and more humans to place credence where it belongs.
These things are interpreted, individually, by our own hearts in total reference to our own lives. Yet it is still our awareness of the facts that rise us to another dimension, so to speak. Life may appear to be "just this", yet it is more and it is felt within our hearts by our spirit. And I can only hope you'll keep asking questions for clarity if this is "too much".
Okay, yesterday afternoon I happened to decide to walk Nosey up and over "the hill" (never did with Nosey). The stone path into the park glows golden with the sun directly opposite. The sun is within it's circumference from the horizon (which the sun descends in 5 minutes), so we pause to watch from a sweet park bench overlooking the city.
A younger woman comes over and we began to chat. The "setting" is magic, the time of day is magic, the encounter is magic, her~self is magic.... The coincidences are magic. She looks similar to a good friend that owns a neat shop in town; this young woman had been there, but hadn't met the owner; both are beautiful and angelic young women from Canada, have similar curly, dark hair, poise....
The name, of the young woman I meet in the park, is not "common" and is one slight sound and letter off of my daughter's name, and I tell her she's got great "energy" (I now know who I can say this to). With a knowing smile she tells me she's has been studying shamanism for five years so far. In a nutshell, this is a person that helps link, so to speak, the natural world with the spiritual world. I feel a deep connection.
Before parting we make plans to barter my homemade bread with her continual practice of her studies of shamanism. To participate in such work has been a deep desire of mine for decades. This couldn't have been a more perfect happenstance of being in the right place at the right time. So you do see what I mean about this being relative to my~self?
When you consciously take notice of these moments, you are aware of the magic-in-life. These moments happen for everyone, yet the more aware we are the more they happen, and around and around life glows with perfectly organized flow we may have taken for granted or foo fooed away as coincidence.
Yes, someone is going to say, "Of course the more aware we are the more they "seem" to happen, because we're just noticing what's going to happen anyway. I will differ of course. Yet I'm sure it'll be something only "you" can prove to your~self. Being aware with appreciation has a magic of it's own, and that spawns more opportunities or coincidences. It's momentum. Trust me ~
And I understand if you can't just trust someone you already don't know. SO trust your~self enough to prove it to YOU. Only you can become more aware of your own life; only you can "see" the opportunities and coincidences in your own life; only you can interpret what you see, hear, feel....with your own silent~heart. It becomes magic, and you will "see" when you're ready.
Always ~ LL
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Life 101 on Day 274 ~
Words from my cousin: "Celebrate or hate? Love or Oppress? Live or die......."
Yes, a very heavy week for many, many hearts. And with the passing of another one of our world's great men: Nelson Mandela. In my silence I feel all, and more, of the wonderful words spoken in his honor. For me he is the epitome of what I aspire to write.
And another close family member is also dealing with the anniversary of what's got to be the most traumatic death to deal with: your child. I cannot hope to write anything at this time. My heart is in mourning for all.
Always ~ LL
Yes, a very heavy week for many, many hearts. And with the passing of another one of our world's great men: Nelson Mandela. In my silence I feel all, and more, of the wonderful words spoken in his honor. For me he is the epitome of what I aspire to write.
And another close family member is also dealing with the anniversary of what's got to be the most traumatic death to deal with: your child. I cannot hope to write anything at this time. My heart is in mourning for all.
Always ~ LL
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Life 101 on Day 271 ~
How we "see", or interpret, our observations is really the name-of-the-game so to speak. And what's the foundation? Our attitude. And what's that a part of? The overall perspective we view life from in the first place ~ awareness of what's good or awareness of what's wrong. And this is what we have the control, within our spirit or self, to shift, alter, whatever we want. IF WE WANT! ~ See?
You've got it; Awareness IS Curative! And naturally that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. It may seem easy enough, and then you realize it takes more and more effort to maintain the shift or change until it becomes who you are. It's amazing to actually notice your awareness with full-blown gratitude as things begin to turn-around in your life.
Once scenarios begin to turn around; we're talking momentum. But if we slack off? So does the momentum. You'll be bowled-over when you become aware of just about everything being as perfect as perfect can be. Little things have added up to my own awe and appreciation of the law-of-attraction. I haven't written about Nosey in days, and I won't here. For sure it'll be in Raven Ravine.
Before I end today I will tell you of another "prayer" that manifest with magic results. I've lived in this place for 5 years. In the first couple years there were at least 4 different renters in the one other upstairs apartment. Then a sweet woman (who I still have regular contact) rented for a couple years, then sublet to another sweet woman until last month. With neither, our lives never coalesced in the way I know is what I want for the only apartment opposite mine.
I deeply felt what I wanted and "asked" for the right person to move in. My "prayer was answered" beyond what I ever could have put specific words to. And she even has a great medium-sized dog that's a best pal, now and again, with Nosey. Somehow I see the magic happening that will address issues I still feel within me that I want to refine.
My Nosey is showing me he's equally perfect beyond my wildest imagination. An example most dog owners can relate with: After playing in the best dog woods-park for at least 90 minutes, Nosey was literally covered in mud and dirt (he had such great play). He's shown interest in the shower in the past and I was going to bathe him, but called him to the shower. He was calm and still, and came out with his white fir gleaming with no fuss or muss ~ perfect?
I have been happy to be alive after many painful years of resistance to learning what I needed to become aware of myself; I may still be living at poverty-level; I may still have a very meager existence with almost everything second-hand or nonexistent, but I woke-up somehow, and my life has never been the same in my heart.
Somehow the magic begins to gain momentum the more and more aware we become of every little thing we can "see" and feel gratitude for. When it becomes absolute gratitude, we'll know when we're not fooling ourselves anymore. So become aware of any magic you literally see all around you everyday. And why try to convince yourself it's not real. It is, within the crazy bounds of life being an illusion anyway ~
Always ~ LL
You've got it; Awareness IS Curative! And naturally that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. It may seem easy enough, and then you realize it takes more and more effort to maintain the shift or change until it becomes who you are. It's amazing to actually notice your awareness with full-blown gratitude as things begin to turn-around in your life.
Once scenarios begin to turn around; we're talking momentum. But if we slack off? So does the momentum. You'll be bowled-over when you become aware of just about everything being as perfect as perfect can be. Little things have added up to my own awe and appreciation of the law-of-attraction. I haven't written about Nosey in days, and I won't here. For sure it'll be in Raven Ravine.
Before I end today I will tell you of another "prayer" that manifest with magic results. I've lived in this place for 5 years. In the first couple years there were at least 4 different renters in the one other upstairs apartment. Then a sweet woman (who I still have regular contact) rented for a couple years, then sublet to another sweet woman until last month. With neither, our lives never coalesced in the way I know is what I want for the only apartment opposite mine.
I deeply felt what I wanted and "asked" for the right person to move in. My "prayer was answered" beyond what I ever could have put specific words to. And she even has a great medium-sized dog that's a best pal, now and again, with Nosey. Somehow I see the magic happening that will address issues I still feel within me that I want to refine.
My Nosey is showing me he's equally perfect beyond my wildest imagination. An example most dog owners can relate with: After playing in the best dog woods-park for at least 90 minutes, Nosey was literally covered in mud and dirt (he had such great play). He's shown interest in the shower in the past and I was going to bathe him, but called him to the shower. He was calm and still, and came out with his white fir gleaming with no fuss or muss ~ perfect?
I have been happy to be alive after many painful years of resistance to learning what I needed to become aware of myself; I may still be living at poverty-level; I may still have a very meager existence with almost everything second-hand or nonexistent, but I woke-up somehow, and my life has never been the same in my heart.
Somehow the magic begins to gain momentum the more and more aware we become of every little thing we can "see" and feel gratitude for. When it becomes absolute gratitude, we'll know when we're not fooling ourselves anymore. So become aware of any magic you literally see all around you everyday. And why try to convince yourself it's not real. It is, within the crazy bounds of life being an illusion anyway ~
Always ~ LL
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Life 101 on Day 267 ~
Several readers understandably picked-up my tendency to amplify moments where common-sense would have explained quite simply. I cannot disagree. Yes, I lacked common-sense when I couldn't figure out I'd initially misread the clock on Day 260. Then the following scenarios and I still don't realize? The most critical area in my traumatic brain injury.
I chose to be vulnerable, or real, and I exposed a side to me I work hard to "cover" in writing. I didn't have to post it. Imagine if the scenario on Day 260 had been an indication to something significant I could have used as a real-life example for y'all? More and more people are beginning to appreciate this magic-in-life guides us and is a part of us.
Have I made this sound like a lack of common-sense can create a string of magical events? I hope not; that's not the intent. Well first off, there were no magical events. Yet this level of awareness into your life will show you things you may disregarded as mere coincidence. I'm certainly not the first or the last person to express the significance of coincidences. SO let's start paying serious attention to the affects. You can reason the reason.
This may help you begin to realize the unseen power of something happening that organizes our life somehow. The law of attraction is unfathomably blended with our free will, which results in the life we live. Our deep seeded beliefs do play a significant role with the actions we take.
But timing is the ultimate factor. If there's something significant for us to learn about ourselves first, the timing is then not right. And most likely we are unaware of what that is. Most of us do live life doing the very best we knowingly can, with the highest intentions for good. So we're not going to see what it is about ourselves that needs improvement. This is just the way it is.
Like I said in the beginning, I was not brought up to view life this way. I am not advocating we live our lives analyzing everything to the point of obsession. I wouldn't call that really living; but live with awareness. Do your best to observe life a little deeper, see things as if they do carry a message about you. Pay attention to how things fall into place when we let go of our resistance. Be grateful for the life you create.
Always ~ LL
I chose to be vulnerable, or real, and I exposed a side to me I work hard to "cover" in writing. I didn't have to post it. Imagine if the scenario on Day 260 had been an indication to something significant I could have used as a real-life example for y'all? More and more people are beginning to appreciate this magic-in-life guides us and is a part of us.
Have I made this sound like a lack of common-sense can create a string of magical events? I hope not; that's not the intent. Well first off, there were no magical events. Yet this level of awareness into your life will show you things you may disregarded as mere coincidence. I'm certainly not the first or the last person to express the significance of coincidences. SO let's start paying serious attention to the affects. You can reason the reason.
This may help you begin to realize the unseen power of something happening that organizes our life somehow. The law of attraction is unfathomably blended with our free will, which results in the life we live. Our deep seeded beliefs do play a significant role with the actions we take.
But timing is the ultimate factor. If there's something significant for us to learn about ourselves first, the timing is then not right. And most likely we are unaware of what that is. Most of us do live life doing the very best we knowingly can, with the highest intentions for good. So we're not going to see what it is about ourselves that needs improvement. This is just the way it is.
Like I said in the beginning, I was not brought up to view life this way. I am not advocating we live our lives analyzing everything to the point of obsession. I wouldn't call that really living; but live with awareness. Do your best to observe life a little deeper, see things as if they do carry a message about you. Pay attention to how things fall into place when we let go of our resistance. Be grateful for the life you create.
Always ~ LL
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