The biggest dilemma or issue I've received recently is to clarify why hurt and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. Yes, it's extremely difficult to be around others that cannot see-themselves-on-the-inside. Most likely they are primarily focused on what other people will think about them. I believe this is what drives a perfectionist. Does a perfectionist realize this about theirself?
Observation of our interactions with others is always a starting point. We're not here to view others; we're here to honestly observe our~selves. It always only comes down to us: how we react, why we react. When your instinct is to look to blame, just pause, breathe, and silently look at self if possible. Yes, it takes great awareness and we all need more.
Perfectionism is such an oppressive emotion to place on ones~self, and until we are able to see-within (honestly) we will be unable to recognize our own behavior, how it impacts others, or what's its driving force. When a person is unable to see-within there really isn't much that can be done by anyone other than them.What we find within is not based on opinion, but truth.
For me there is a huge difference between healthy striving, for what you want to create or even change, versus being (most likely unconsciously) focused on what others, including self, will think. For me I can't put it any more basic than to say this is the difference between thinking with our minds versus silently feeling what our heart-intelligence is communicating.
Which is a better barometer for doing what's right and hopefully doing our best at it? I'll go as far to say ego drives the mind and wisdom drives the heart. Yet there is still so much confusion over ego, and that's not something I'll write on unless I'm asked to delve.
Yet this is my humble opinion and it's very reassuring that readers are seeking my opinions based on 25 years of constant learning and achieving emotional health with lasting joy. Finding lasting joy almost requires the courage to be vulnerable. And we know vulnerability leaves us wide open for pain. Hence the courage to face our~self without judgment.
Always ~ LL
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