Day 70 ~

Awareness of self ~ Could anything be more upsetting? I kinda doubt it; at least it hasn't been for me, although it's not something that comes easy. 

Yet it can be the most liberating and wonderful moment in time. Even after the initial pain of a death, because we only have ourselves to be with at moments of awareness of self. We get to see how we've handled our life.

And if we're still striving for "perfect" we are WAAAY off the path, but we know this. Being perfect and being whole are entirely different, someone asked me to clear this up if I can. We all know what perfect is ~ 

At least to me, being whole means having strong moral values; following that awesome golden-rule (think of it as the sun's goodness and the light it shines); being confident you know what you do and do not like (then it makes the golden-rule a "piece-of-cake"); being true to that "self"; giving and receiving unconditional love; and more along those lines.

There are some words within the last paragraph that create challenges along the unique and individual paths we follow. Honestly, life isn't meant to be simple. Yet try to remember it is kind of simple when you realize the ease of "just living". I'm writing from experiences you've no idea of, yet I write with a hard-earned wisdom I do hope helps guide others on their path.

Life becomes a different ballgame when we appreciate the awareness of the spirit or energy we each have. It's extremely difficult to try to convince those that question, but I do believe that "deep-down" within all of us is the wisdom that knows the truth of my words. Is it another dimension of us?

I'm not going to muddy the waters, at least in my pond, stirring it up writing in regards to things I don't have extensive knowledge or understanding of myself. Just having stated, "when something 'dies' it simply changes", is an example of another dimension, because somehow energy remains (in the subconscious mind that many can perceive in their consciousness).

I feel whole, and I know I'm so far away from perfect. I embarrass myself stumbling over others toes "all-the-time". But being my own worse critic, I understand others don't always feel the "errors-in-my-ways" as I do. That helps me continue to rise each morning. 

And being aware, for example, of the awesome connection between my-necessary-life-lessons and the results of my "accident", I'm blown away. Just for an immediate example: my accident left me unstable, uncoordinated and what not; and I "stumble over others feelings" less and less as my awareness grows. Did my spirit have anything to do with me being here?

Yet here I am having literally gone full circle on so many levels, I'd only bore a reader with, but a starting example: accident occurred in Maine, within an hour of here, with my two toddlers in the back seat. 

Years later, we all lived, over a decade, half way around the world, and now my children are reconnected, as adults, with their father and his family, and we All live in the general same area. Our hearts are healing in the proscess. Life is brief, life is a challenge, but life IS fair and life IS good.

And life IS a mystery beyond our human comprehension, and I do question exactly "why ?" these magnificent brains (animals included) "are".

Always ~ LL